Do you trust me?

My heart is breaking
My mind is racing
My hope is failing

Do you trust me?

Tears blur my vision
Loss consumes my mind
Fear drowns my dreams

Do you trust me?

I can hardly breathe
My legs are buckling
My body feels defeat

Do you trust me?

How do I embrace hope
How can I see the unseen
How do I live the “even if”

Do you trust me?

Please calm this storm
Please comfort my soul
Please show me the way

Do you…

I want to trust you.

07.01.21

This poem was drawn from a heart conversation with God. I was wrestling with an aching heart and the inability to quiet my mind from a million racing thoughts; I was desperate for relief from both.

The words aligned to the right were the steady stream of thoughts, interrupting themselves. The words aligned to the left are the gentle, steady, and unwavering call of God, asking if I trust Him. Not with what do I trust Him, but DO I TRUST HIM, an all encompassing statement, the simple yet profound answer to every struggle, hurt, doubt, frustration, hope, joy, all of it. Do I trust Him?

I can know that He will never fail my trust, that is the simple part. Actually living out that trust, handing over the reigns, letting go of everything I attempt to carry myself, is the hard part. It is always life giving, freeing, and full of joy, but that first step of letting go and trusting, is unnatural. Though, the more I trust and release, the more it becomes second nature and easier to walk out.

01.31.22