The closer I get to the city
The more memories come flooding back
The bittersweet conflict of emotions
Glimpses of the girl I was
Contrasted with the woman I have become

My heart aches for that girl
Soothed by the purpose that time has claimed
Who I am now built upon who I was then
Insecurity and hurts composted into fruitful soil
Poor decisions redeemed into lessons learned

Flashes of conversations and interactions
A constant state of motion and commitments
Desperate to fit into the world around her
A world which she was never meant to belong
Intoxicated by the narrative of wanderlust

In her wandering she was unknowingly lost
At the same time being nudged and guided
Seeds being planted by beautiful souls
Orchestrated by gracious, mighty hands
Patiently waiting to hold and carry her

A journey was sparked within her
To replace lies and fears with truth and hope
Guarded masks to give way to vulnerability
She wanted instant freedom, but needed time
To learn and unlearn, rise, fall, and rise again

Four years have passed since I was here last
Five years since I moved away
That life feels like the story of a dream
That person, a stranger to who I have become
She tries to visit, but is never welcome to stay.

12.31.21

These words were cultivated as I drove to Atlanta to serve at Passion Conference 2022. There is a painting I envision to go along with these words, which will be shared once it is brought to life.